on the tip of my tongue
yet my lips are sealed
it’s funny how my mind runs
100 miles per minute
yet the minute
the miles
absolve into nothingness
& You stand before Me
in all your awkward,
anxious perfection
my mind cannot find the time
or the rhyme
to align
the thoughts in my head
& the desires of my heart
& manifest every inclination within Me
to tell You
that I love You.
I love the crescent moon-shaped
chip on your front tooth
& I love that one hair
that curls more than the rest
& beautifully frames
your unforgettable eyes.
I love the way You say my name
& how it seems to tame
every little fear I have about the world
& if You’ll be there with me
when it crumbles to dust one day.
I love the way your lips form the words
of the pages You read
& the way You talk about them
as if they were your own.
I love how I feel when You love me.
but I never told You that.
try as I might
to fight
the restraints of my head
& turn what I write
into something I said
the inescapable biting of my tongue
overcame the endless songs that I sung
over
& over
& over
again in my mind
about You.
& You mistook my silence
for some falsely-constructed violence
in which I played the villain
& you played the victim.
& You ran like my mind
100 miles per minute
away from me
until You absolved
into nothingness.
now I sit here writing about
that chip in your tooth You wouldn’t shut up about
& your one stupid perfect curl
& how I’ll now be alone at the end of the world
& I
I miss how I felt when You loved me.
& You’ll never know a thing.